Yummy Mummies

I remember when I was pregnant with the Pink Kid, the OB-GYN commenting to me that the baby was probably going to be quite large, “You would be in the 90^th percentile for size, so your baby will probably be large – canaries have canaries!”  (with the unspoken corollary, ‘elephants have elephants’, or perhaps the even less attractive version, ‘hippos have hippos’).

It’s concerning that you bestow your less attractive traits on your poor unsuspecting kids, and, it seems, in a less equitable quantity than your better ones.  But the good news is that there is someone else whose genes are in the mix, so blame is not clear cut J. 

Anyways, I guess the insecurity that has me stream-of-consciousnessing today is that lack of attractiveness I’ve always felt since passing 175cm when I was 15.  Problem is, I am not upset about it!  In fact it is a constant source of amusement, and it’s still following me!

I mean, start with school pickup - a fairly routine, uneventful task, angst-free for most.  But no.  For me it is now filled with apprehension.  You see, I’ve realized that mothers look much better than they used to.  Today’s woman has not accepted flabby abdomens and tuck shop arms as inevitable and she has fought back into her pre-pregnancy wardrobe with 21^st century project management and efficiency.  Exercise, diet and all round health consciousness prevails.   Designer brands are in abundance during school pickup!  It is the era of the Yummy Mummy!

Conversely, I have maintained my post-pregnancy figure with a diet featuring all 5 food groups (Burger King, McDonalds, KFC, Fish’n’chips and Donut King).  I have marvelously developed jaw muscles.   I have a wardrobe consisting mainly of my work clothes.  Since I work from home, this means trackie pants, sheepskin moccasins and sloppy windcheaters.  Yep, I am the variation on the theme.  I am… Crummy Mummy!

So pickup, when one has to show one’s food-stained face to collect Pink Kid and Blue Kid, becomes a time for odious comparisons and ego reduction.

Wherein we arrive at today’s book review (haven’t done one for a while, have I?). 

“Charlie the Chick” is a cute book with a wonderful ‘surprise’ pop-up ending!  It is simple for the very young child and both Pink Kid and Blue Kid have enjoyed it right through the 3yo to 5yo age groups (and they still laugh uproariously at the ending even now).  Let me elaborate…

<SPOILER ALERT!>

Charlie the Chick has big body parts, and it is explained, piecemeal, as to why each of these body parts is big.  Each page has a pop out, so when we are talking about Charlie’s beak, the big beak pokes out from the page.  When we’re talking about his big feet, they too protrude expansively into one’s face.  This is great for young kids, but be warned that all the pages will ultimately be mutilated by inquisitive little fingers!

But the thing my kids love most about “Charlie the Chick” is the same idea with which I’ve opened today’s blog.  Canaries, elephants, hippos and the like… that idea.  Because the punchline for “Charlie the Chick” is, that “if you think Charlie is big… you should see his… mother” <insert Pink Kid and Blue Kid’s raucous laughter> and the final page of the book unfolds to reveal a monstrously large chicken.  Ah dear, Crummy Mummy strikes again…